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| Well, I've not posted in a while..bad me. I've been busy, I've been on Facebook to much, and I've started a paper journal also. I know, who still writes on paper, but I LOVE paper. I am a card person and no e-cards DON'T count.
Life with Troy still sucks. I'm working towards resolving that. First thing, credit cards got to be paid off. So to save my sanity (what little I have left) I'm selling my pleasure horse to pay everything off. I have a greatlead on a great home for him. Hell, I never have time to ride anyway. I will cry but it will be worth it in the end. And there is always another horse to buy.
My mother and I had a huge fight this weekend. First in a while but as bad as always. I gave up my adult life at 26 so she and my grannie could move in becaus she wont take care of my grannie. NO MORE!! The next thing is to kick mama to the curb. I'll take care of my grannie but mama has got to go. Just as soon as any part of my farms sells she's out!! I will have no debt then except living expences and I can do that wiht just one job!! YEAH I have dreams of a life again!! I maybe 35 before I get my life back, but I'll get it back.
I also started weight watchers yesterday. I'm doing ok with it today. My weight is about the only thing that bothers me. It hasn't in the past but it sure does now. I don't expect and I don't want to be a 4. But oh to be a 16 again!!! And I want to get heaalthy. I'm not healthy anymore and maybe that's what's bothering me not the scales. I have so may plans once I get my life back!!! And some I'm not waiting on. Some I will start now.....now to decided which ones. | |
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|  This is my 9 mo old nephew. I don't know what he's upset about - LOL They did NOT prep him. He's giving them the finger all on his own!!!! Gotta love him, he's the baby!!! | |
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| Ok, I'm in a slump and it SUCKS!! I have money problems right now that I've not had in a while. But when I think about all that I do have I have got to be a smuck for whinning. I have a job, a roof over my head, and groceries in the house. I think about all the people that don't have those things. You see them on the news and on the corners with their cardboard signs. But that's still not getting me over my slump. My weight is REALLY bothering me right now too. I had been doing so good about loosing weight and getting healthy. Then I fell off the wagon again and it parked on me. Life will get better - it has to.
I've got to come up with positive ways of getting over this!! - Tags:slump
- Location:work
- Mood:depressed
 - Music:Nickleback
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| Ok, I have to brag..... I went home last night and got all 4 of my horses worked!!! Of course this morning I'm wore out and VERY sore - LOL
Roscoe as always is an old pro at his job and easy to work.
DC (my halter horse) is REALLY starting to worry me. He either has a real problem that will end his show career and could result in him having to be put down or he's just figured out how to get out of working. It's had to describe but some of the time it's like he can't (but it could be wont) move his right side. I'm worried about a stroke but I'm still talking with the vet. Just have to see what happenes. I'm gonna try to load him in the trailer again this weekend.
Shimmy ( the 2 yr old) is GREAT!! I didn't saddle him instead we had a lesson on woah. He was figuring it out pretty good. I think that by the end of the weekend he will be ready to lunge with the saddle on and some ground driving.
Herbie is the GREATEST horse EVER!! I've not ridden since Mother's Day. I get busy and never seem to get around to it. SO I got him out last night and a little lunging and he rode like a dream. He is a BROKE somebody. I'm so proud of him. But I'm also proud of me too. I never ride alone. But last night, it was just me and Herbie. He builds my confidence so much. I'm gonna ride tomorrow and Sunday too.
By the time that I got finished with the boys, feeding the dogs, unlaoding hay, and watering the tomatoe plants it was 8:30 and dark. A fast shower and cooking a little supper it was time to crash.
Now, if I can just get them on a schedule. I can't work all 4 of them everynight. But I need to get at least 3 of them. | |
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| Today has been like most anyother day. I cook 2 meals, go to the grocery, feed the horses and dog. Troy is lazy again and sitting on his ass all the time. But instead of whinning, I'm gonna get things in order to do something about it. I applied at Publix yesterday. I sure hope that I get it. Another $100 - $150 a week could make a huge difference and get some bills off me. It will make it harder to work the horses but they can wait til next summer if they have to. I may go down and apply at Lane Bryant tomorrow. With cleaning a house, that will give me 3 jobs and there is a chance of picking up some light accounting work on the side too.
If/when I get rid of Troy, I wont sell my 27 ac but I may go on and sell the house. I can build a plcae of my own and a barn for the horses.
I got to visit with Neal's famly today. It was nice it see them and they were glad to see me. I got to see Neal's little boy. He's sweet.
I'm also getting back to my weight loss hard on Monday. I've got a lot of wor to do on me and no one can does it but me.
So here I go!!! | |
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| Ok, it's a shitty day and I just can't shake it. First, it's a holiday weekend and the fact that I'm not spending it the way I want to always bums me out. I REALLY miss going to Neal's parents for hoildays. Just sitting around and passing the day way. My family sucks and Troy's family sucks even more. Friends are busy and have families of thier own. It's made me HATE most holidays. But I have to find a way to deal with it. Troy has to work a few hours on Saturday. Maybe I can just spend a little time around the house.
Second is that the house was looked at last night and still no offers. It's been on the market right at a year and counting last night has been looked at 5 times. God, the market is SO bad.
There are days I want to kill Troy (at least send him packing back to Pulaski) and other days that I want to try to make this marriage work. Days that I want horses/farm and days that I'm ready to just give it all away and live in a box by myself.'
I'm sure I'll be better soon. Just a pitty party I'm sure.
After work today, I'll stop at Lane Bryant and apply for another part time job. Everything happens for a reason and happens when it's supposed to. I just have to keep believing that!!!! | |
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|  The next picture of my 2 yr old, I'll have him saddled. | |
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| Yesterday SUCKED I don't give a damn how you look at it.
It was sale day for my 2 yr old horse, Shimmy. I had consigned him to an auction in Bowling Green, KY. He loaded onto the trailer good. But that was about the only part that went as planned. About half way up there, I had a blow out on the trailer. Brand new tires!! Now there are LOTS of things that I can do but change a tire is not one of them. So after 2 stops I found a shop that didn't change tires but since there were some "good ol' boys" that worked there and I think they felt sorry for me, I was back on the road.
I was hotter than 4 hells at the sale. I was wet all over, jeans soaked from sweat, and so was my horse. I just wanted $700 for a colt that's worth 3-4 tiimes that. But times are hard and the 2 yr old market is not good right now. So I could live with $700 and get him off my feed bill.
Then, my ex-husband shows up with the girl he left me for, day just keeps getting better!! He's an ass. But yesterday, he was a helpful ass!! I worked him to death. The colt is big and stout and likes to psh me around some. So I made Neal deal with him. Not to mention every time I turned around, he had something cold for me to drink.
So the really shitty part is that my great horse brought $250. My first responce was WTF!!! I wouldn't take it. I had to pay the auction co. $125 for my misserable day. I brought him home and that's where he's gonna stay. I've talked to the vet already and next week, he will be gelded and we'll go from there.
I cried most of the way to the sale becuase I like my colt that I didn't need but still hated to get rid of him in a way. And cried all of the way home mostly from the heat and being wore out. Of course seeing pictures of my ex's little boy when I can't have a baby of my own didn't help either. Now, Neal didn't show me the pictures to "hurt" me. I know that and I don't have to be friendly. But I LOVE Neal's parents and if I'm gonna see them, I'll see Neal and Austin. But that's another post for another day.
So today is gonna be better. Probably hotter than 4 hells again today but still better. | |
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| I'm setting here at the office. I can't seem to shake this sad feeling that I have. I believe it's because I miss my friends. I miss dancing. I miss getting together with other women and laughing. And it seems that today all of that has caught up with me.
There is an energy when women get together. And it's good. We as women need that I think. At least, it seems I do.
I have been so busy lately but as I think about it, I don't feel like I really accomplished anything. Most of my time is spent doing for others (and I don't mind helping friends when they need it) but maybe it's time that I try to find a little time to do something for myself too.
I've been working on a healthier lifestyle. I still have a long way to go. I've been slacking some at the health club. So that's were I'll start. I feel better when I work out. And I'm getting the want to dance again. That may be my next thing to try to add. Surely, my family can manage one night a week without me.
At least I have some plans to improve my sadness :) - Tags:sad
- Location:work
- Mood:sad
- Music:Nickelback
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| Ok, I'm not getting to my journal as much as I want to. We are starting to get a few good leads on the house and the farm. Part of me doens't want to sell and the other part of me is just ready to move on. I think that in the long run it will be the right thing.
I still hate my job and the people that I work with. But if there will be a move soon, now is not the time to try to do something about it.
Show season is all but nothing for me this year. There is NO money to show. I still hope to make the congress in Oct. but that is up in the air. If the house sells, there will be a little show money then.
So just another day of the same old shit. - Location:work
- Mood:frustrated
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majeeda_dance's journal
